Ritual

I gotta a call from one of my sister in laws the other day. She is a sweetheart, a thinker, a gift. She had a simple question: "Do you have any ritual practice when your period comes in light of the hope of a baby?" (and I must add she let me borrow her GRANDMOTHERS blue suede boots for a bit for the project!!!) Great question. My first, quick response: Nope. Does coping and eating count? The ritual of chocolate consumption?

We chatted in the afternoon and I did start to think through what sorts of things help me each month, what ritual would I even like to have going on?

And today I need to make a ritual to be sad. At least blood is red. Merry Christmas. (edgy, I know)

-Set aside real time to be sad. When I don't, it creeps up on me when I am not ready. When I do take the time to mourn, I am better for it.

-Actually tell Rob in a real, meaningful way. I have tried: texting him, telling him in passing in the hall (that didn't work very well), telling him about another pregnancy I heard about and then, "oh, by the way, no baby this month....so.... how about those Bengals?" or just yelling at him. Eek.

-Practice thankfulness for the Gift of Robby. Recent saying from Robby: "Momma, I love you. You are my little gift." He is a good repeater.

-Write. If I write, I can bang on the keys, I can cry, I can write whatever I want, to publish or not. Doesn't matter. It causes me to slow down, to think, to choose each word with great care.

-Pray and tell my Creator however I am feeling. Have you read any Psalms?!? They are outrageous at points....giving God a piece of their mind.

-Indulge my creative side. I could use my energy to focus on me - or I can pour it out. I just made cinnamon-honey homemade granola - yum. Then I decided to figure out how to display Christmas cards to busy my hands and mind as I take an hour to mourn during R's nap. This is what I came up with.  Recipe: Just take one crappy old window frame from the trash that has been in your winter garden, snatch it from the snow and find pretty ribbon to tie to it. Add cards and shizam!

What's your ritual.....or hopeful ritual? And for what?