Sad

On this Sabbath I am hit with emotions that I wasn't planning on. (well, who plans emotions when pregnant....er...or ever....) A friend who is dear to my heart is in premature labor right now with twins. She is only 19 weeks along and things are not looking good. She has waited for a long time to become a mother and was ecstatic to be pregnant with twin baby girls.

She actually had a big part in encouraging us from words from God about our children - that we would have them and that He had a plan.

It's all so hard. And sad. And I feel full of sadness, grief and emptiness on her behalf, though I am quite full with child.

I want to believe that my God has a big plan - and a bigger grief is being avoided as they pass through a time of wilderness. The Israelites were steered for years through wilderness by God as they fled from their oppressors in Egypt. The wilderness was the longest route possible to their new land, Canaan. They actually saw higher, better, clearer roads in the distance as they were making their way and wondered why they were on their route. What they did not know was that their were peoples along that road that could have destroyed them easily in their defenseless state.

May wilderness be protection.

As I write, I am updated about Colleen. They have stabilized her and hope to keep her on bed rest and save these babies.

Dear God, help us to believe that you love us. Really, actually love us. When we feel like we are being beaten down, help us know that your love is much bigger and fuller and more complete than the slice of life in front of us. Help us not despair. Amen.